How do you no when its true when your ready and if it real?

im been crazy bout the same kid for bout two years we been through alot and hes played me like crazy..i love him with all my heart and would do anything for him. were datin but hes in the army in california and im in washington.. were datin and i love it and my friends call him things and tell me to be careful.. but we keep ttalking on how were going to take the relationship to the next level.. but idk if i am ready how do i no and how do i no he wont leave me all over again i mean im crazy bout him but scared it all he wants...